Breaking news: Sharks safe after human infestation goes wrong

The headline read:

Naked fisherman rescued from shark-infested waters

This is incorrect:

The definition of ‘infested’ is:

To inhabit or overrun in numbers or quantities large enough to be harmful, threatening, or obnoxious:

Far from infesting the oceans of the world sharks are actually living in perfect harmony with their environment.

That perfect harmony, which evolved over hundreds of millions of years, has only recently come under threat with the appearance of the most deadly, most threatening, most obnoxious animal of all – the human.

The definition of infestation as the overrunning in numbers large enough to be harmful, threatening and obnoxious perfectly describes what humans have done on land.

That infestation, due to a combination of over population and technology, has spread into the oceans where the mindless destruction continues apace.

For example, over 50 million sharks are murdered by the obnoxious humans every year, many of them die just so that humans can indulge their taste for shark fin soup.

Here’s how the incident was reported by the shark world media:

Sharks safe after human infestation goes wrong

The serene and natural life of some of our fellow shark citizens has again been interrupted by the ruthless and primitive humans.

Apparently, while out hunting innocent members of our community their machine capsized resulting in two deaths.

A third human was rescued after been hauled onto a floating machine assisted by some flying human machines.

Betting on the future of humanity

Many years ago I came to the conclusion that, as a species, humans are doomed to self destruction. The only question is; will we take the rest of nature down with us.

The seemingly unstoppable destruction of the environment, on which we depend for our very existence, was the principal reason for my pessimistic conclusion but recent events on the global financial market have added to my despair.

When the Murdochs were being quizzed before a Parliamentary Committee a television channel was simultaneously broadcasting a live graph indicating how the markets were responding to the event.

So when Murdoch Snr., for example, said something negative the graph took a tumble but when Murdoch Jnr. gave a positive answer the markets shot up again.

When Murdoch’s wife leapt to his defence after he was attacked by a pie wielding assailant the markets went up. The television commentator explained that the markets were probably impressed with her gutsy response.

This is an absolutely insane way to run a planet but that is the frightening reality.

Just two individuals, out of the seven billion that inhabit the planet, can have devastating effects on the fate, happiness and prosperity of countless thousands by uttering a simple sentence like:

This is the most humbling day of my life.

The fate, happiness and prosperity of billions of people, businesses, countries and even the very stability of the planet itself depends, to a large extent, on a tiny group of people betting on how events might effect their profits, it’s like playing Russian Roulette with five bullets in the chamber.

We witness some of the most powerful people on the planet responding to the current crisis with pathetic pleas to the market. Please believe us, you’re being unfair; tell us how we can please you.

What’s required, of course, is a completely new global system that allows people to prosper, to make all the money they want but without endangering the entire planet – in other words, a strictly controlled capitalist system.

And, of course, the on-going financial crisis will have devastating consequences for the environment because the only solution being proposed to resolve the crisis is – growth, growth, growth and more growth.

This means that even the modest measures taken to date to slow down environmental destruction will be abandoned so that the looting of the planet’s very limited resources can continue to generate profits.

Illegal election posters? We saw nothin

I phoned the environment section of Cork City Council today to inquire what action had been taken against those who had illegally erected election posters all over the city prior to the election.

At the time I was informed that although the city’s litter wardens had not spotted any illegal posters they would keep a sharp look out for any breach of the law and appropriate action would follow.

No, I was informed today, not a single illegal poster was spotted by the ever watchful litter wardens.

Ah well, at least my amazing gift for predicting future events with 100% accuracy is still intact.

In my pre election call I informed the official that no action whatsoever would be taken as a result of the illegal posters and so it has come to pass.

Illegal election posters – What illegal posters?

Returning to the illegal political posters

I rang an official in Cork City Council to inquire what action had been taken regarding the hundreds of illegal posters around the city.

If a litter warden comes across anything illegal they will take appropriate action, we have only three wardens in the city.

Ok, but they must be aware of the law being broken by politicians and political parties.

We’ll take appropriate action against them.

Has any action been taken so far?

I can’t discuss with you whether fines have been issued or not.

I’m not asking for details of fines, I’m just asking whether the litter wardens have observed any illegal posters.

I’ll have to talk to the wardens about it.

Are you aware yourself of any illegal posters?

Well, I’m based in the office so I’m not out and about in the city, it would be the wardens who would make us aware of the posters.

What about when you’re traveling home, surely you’ve seen the posters. They’re up all over the place.

I haven’t been walking through the city centre recently and I’ve seen no posters up in the area where I live.

But the litter wardens, unless they’re going around wearing blindfolds, must see the posters.

Well, I’ll be talking to them regarding the situation.

Do you think there will be any prosecutions?

We always enforce the Litter Pollution Act.

He was intrigued when I told him I possessed the gift of predicting future events with 100% certainty.

No politician or political party will be investigated never mind actually prosecuted for breaching the Litter Pollution Act.

I promised to call him after the election to confirm my amazing abilities.

Election posters: Same old wink, wink, nod, nod, culture?

Pat Kenny mentioned on his radio show yesterday (Wed, 26th) that politicians were breaking the law by erecting election posters too early.

I rang the Dept. of the Environment to check out the situation.

An official guided me to the relevant section of the Act.

Posters are now only allowed to be erected for a certain specified time period before an election. This time period is either (a) 30 days before the poll date or (b) from the date the polling day order (or equivalent) for the election has been completed, whichever provides the shorter period of time.

The official wasn’t too sure of the interpretation of this section and promised to get an expert to ring me back, I’m still waiting.

Personally, I think it confirms that the law is being broken. The only election date confirmed so far is 11th March and, according to the official, no polling day order has been completed.

Here in Cobh there are posters up all over the place but I’ll bet nobody will be prosecuted.

The matter may seem trivial but is actually a good indicator of how little things have changed in Ireland.

A group of citizens (allegedly) break the law in plain view of law enforcement agencies and (most likely) no action will be taken.

It’s still the same old wink, wink, nod, nod, culture.

Will nature survive the brutality of humans?

It was revealed on RTE today that there is no legislation whatsoever regarding the possession of exotic animals in Ireland.

This means that the savage humans can do as they please when it comes to these vulnerable animals as witnessed by the barbaric treatment of a kangaroo in a Dublin hotel.

This situation is quite common in banana republics where ignorant and corrupt politicians are only interested in human animals from which they buy votes.

I have no doubt that stupid humans will eventually wipe themselves out. The only question is:

Will the rest of nature survive our brief but brutal presence on the planet?

Bizarre decision benefits CRH?

I wrote recently that, while Cement Roadstone Holdings (CRH) have been brought to account for breaking the law in a number of countries, they seem to be immune from accountability in Ireland.

The latest controversy surrounding this very powerful company involves a farmer in Kilkenny who has been trying for the last 19 years to find out what’s been contaminating his livestock (Six One News, 8th report).

The farmer, Dan Brennan, claims that the highly toxic substance cadmium is the cause and most likely comes from a neighbouring brick factory owned by CRH.

CRH strenuously deny the claim.

After years of investigation the Dept. of Agriculture published an 800 page report on the matter earlier this month and it is this report that has shocked MEPs on the EU Petitions Committee.

It seems that because cadmium levels were so high in bovine blood samples that those conducting the investigation decided that the samples must have been contaminated and therefore excluded them completely from the analysis.

The first and most obvious thing to be noted here is that this bizarre decision by Dept. of Agriculture officials appears to be of benefit to CRH, who have always claimed cadmium levels around the factory are in fact very small.

The second point to note is the damage such inexplicable but suspicious decisions do to Ireland’s already tattered reputation.

Such considerations don’t seem to matter, however, when the interests of powerful organisations are at stake as the recent Jim Flavin/DCC farce amply demonstrated.

Farmers protest at loss of REPS 'income'

The REPS (Rural Environment Protection Scheme), scheme is designed to reward Farmers for carrying out their farming activities in an environmentally friendly manner and to bring about environmental improvement on existing farms (Department of Agriculture).

My understanding of this scheme is that farmers will be compensated/reimbursed for the extra costs in carrying out environmentally friendly projects on their farms. It’s not actually an income but a compensation to encourage environmental protection.

It seems, however, that farmers (and the Government) have been using it as an income. Here are some comments from a farmers protest last week in response to cuts in the scheme (RTE News, 4th report, 1st item).

By putting us out of the REP scheme we’re not going to get the money so the country is not going to receive the money.

It’s a bread and butter issue now, people don’t know where they’re going to get money to put food on the table and that’s the situation on the ground.

The school buses, the school books and the uniforms, they’re at their wits end. I’ve seen grown men crying where they have no income.

We’re not crying wolf this time I mean we’ve taken a 30% cut since last October. We don’t mind taking our fair share of the cuts; villages in rural Ireland will be decimated, this was putting money into local economies not just farmer’s pockets.

Talking rubbish about rubbish

Investigators from Northern Ireland’s Environment Agency (NIEA) discovered several cases of illegal dumping. It was found that the bulk of responsibility for these crimes lay with the Republic. The Irish Government has therefore accepted 80pc of the cost (up to €35 million) of disposing of the material properly (Irish Independent).

This is a good example of law enforcement in a functional jurisdiction – Crime detected followed by a professional investigation. Perpetrators identified and made accountable.

In our dysfunctional jurisdiction a Department of the Environment spokesperson said they are hoping to reclaim some of the cost through prosecutions.

In response the Minister for the Environment, John Gormley, mouthed the usual meaningless waffle.

“Every effort would be made to track those responsible and to recover the cost from them.”

“We have to pursue those responsible because environmental crime costs the State. The individuals involved have to be brought to justice.”

Nothing will happen, there will be no proper investigation and there will be no prosecutions. The taxpayer will be forced to pay up and it’s on to the next scandal.

Copy to:
John Gormley

It's not just the economy stupid

“I AM shocked, truly shocked,” says Katey Walter, an ecologist at the University of Alaska in Fairbanks. “I was in Siberia a few weeks ago, and I am now just back in from the field in Alaska. The permafrost is melting fast all over the Arctic, lakes are forming everywhere and methane is bubbling up out of them.”

(New Scientist).

It’s not just our economy that’s going down the tube.

Happy Thursday everybody.