Central Bank to stage new soap opera

The Central Bank, in an obvious attempt to cheer us all up, is to stage its very own soap opera.

Next week, three bank bosses who were on boards in the lead up to the 2008 financial crisis, must convince the Central Bank’s Fitness and Probity panel that they are capable of running their respective banks.

It’s all a great joke, of course. None of these gentlemen will suffer in any way for their gross incompetence.

But if, by some miracle, they’re told to pack their bags, those bags will be filled with a couple of million courtesy of the taxpayer.

Next week’s farce is only the first episode in this new soap opera.

According to sources it could be several months before the authorities decide whether there are grounds for a full investigation.

And if, by some miracle, there is an investigation, it will be many years before it comes to any conclusion.

And if, by some miracle, these gentlemen are found guilty of some wrong doing their case will be handed over to the ODCE to be considered for another few years.

And if, by some miracle, the ODCE actually manages, for the first time, to complete an investigation into allegations of serious white-collar crime a file will be sent to the DPP for consideration – for an indeterminate number of years.

And if, by some miracle, anybody can remember what the case was about, and if all the files are not mysteriously lost, and, indeed, if any of the bankers are still alive, they may face prosecution and be thrown in jail.

Ah no, I’m only joking about that last bit.