Breaking News: Sinn Fein shed arrested

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By Anthony Sheridan

There was a sensational story on the front of today’s Irish Times.

Adams canvasser owns shed where ‘Slab’ Murphy cash found

My god I thought. Could this possibly be true, could somebody who canvasses for Gerry Adams actually own a shed and could that shed be the very same shed where another ‘sinister’ Fenian hid some cash?

This is even more explosive (pun intended) than the recent, truly shocking story in the Irish Sun where it was revealed that Adams worked just eight metres, yes, that’s right, just eight metres, away from a vice den over his constituency office.

My god; is there no end to this man’s heinous crimes?

Well, thats it, I’ve heard enough. Gerry Adams, every member and supporter of Sinn Fein, every citizen who may even have considered voting for the party of sinisterism should be arrested forthwith and put away – at least until the election is over.

It’s the only way to protect the stability, prosperity and genuine democracy bestowed upon us over the years by Fianna Fail, Fine Gael and Labour.

Oh, and that evil shed, That shed should also be arrested and locked away; it’s clearly a threat to all of our futures.