His boniness Sir Bono is humbled by the generosity of Irish taxpayer's

So there was Sir Bono the Great enjoying a midnight swim – naked – while partying in the South of France.

He was joined by a naked Catherine Mayer (now Time Europe editor and the journalist who recently put Enda Kenny’s face on Time Magazine).

Also present, and also naked, was rock singer Michael Hutchence, now deceased.

Bono had never met Mayer before and when told she was a journalist said:

Please write that mine (his Bono?) is bigger than Michael’s.

Well it seems that his Greatness is still strutting around displaying his ‘Bono’ to anyone willing to pay due homage to his enormous ego.

We’re told Enda Kenny was granted an audience with his boniness last year to ‘discuss affairs of state’, no less.

Apparently, his Greatness is willing to sacrifice some of his valuable time to act as an ambassodor for Ireland.

He would of course have to ‘serve’ his country from his base in Holland where he operates comfortably as a tax exile.

All the same his Greatness is very impressed and indeed humbled by the incredible generosity of ordinary Irish citizens who, despite suffering severe economic pain (and paying very high taxes, don’t forget the taxes) are still willing to contribute generoulsly to the overseas aid budget.

Comedian Jack Whitehall, on a recent edition of the excellent BBC comedy panel quiz QI, neatly summed up his boniness as follows:

He’s been going around for the last twenty years with his head up his arse.

I couldn’t agree more.