We're all doomed I tell ya, doomed

I can feel it in my bones, it’s stirring in my bowels, the relentless tapping of the keyboard is like a beating drum in my brain.

Somebody, somewhere out there is feverishly working on a sermon warning us that the UK riots were caused by evil secularists and depraved atheists.

That the love of material things has finally brought about the deserved downfall of a sinful species.

It could be David Quinn, John Waters, Breda O’Brien or Mary Kenny – Take your pick.

Tapping away, getting the message out that the end of days is near, that the road to perdition has run its course.

Return to the one true god all you evil ones before it’s too late, before you’re thrown into the fires of Hell for all eternity.

We’re doomed I tell you, all doomed.