Came across this hilarious website with 666 (Is that figure an accident?) proofs that god exists. Some random samples…
IRELAND’S ARGUMENT FROM BLASPHEMOUS LIBEL
(1) It might be blasphemous to say God doesn’t exist.
(2) I don’t want to be fined $35,000.
(3) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM PHONECALL
(1) God is perfect and has no body.
(2) When my phone rang, there was nobody there.
(3) Therefore, God exists.
THE INEVITABLE ARGUMENT FROM HOMER SIMPSON
(1) Doh!
(2) Therefore, God exists.
GEORGE W. BUSH’S ARGUMENT FROM AMERICA
(1) God bless America.
(2) You’re either with us or against us, remember.
(3) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM TERRORISM (I)
(1) Terrorists destroyed the WTC, killing thousands.
(2) One piece of the rubble sort of looks like a cross.
(3) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM LACK OF EVIDENCE (II) (MODIFIED SIMPSON’S ARGUMENT)
(1) God, if you exist, please give me absolutely no sign.
(2)
(3) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM SMUGNESS
(1) God exists.
(2) I don’t give a crap whether you believe it or not; I have better things to do than to try to convince you morons.
(3) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM META-SMUGNESS
(1) Fuck you.
(2) Therefore, God exists.