Government website provides some light relief

Thanks to John McDermott for the link to this website which he rightly describes as a howl.

Set up in May last year the site is (allegedly) a cross-departmental approach by the Irish Government to raise awareness of bribery and corruption.

The first joke is the list of government departments involved in this campaign. All of them are, to some degree, responsible for creating the banana republic of Ireland.

Here are some other jokes to bring a smile.

The idea is to raise awareness. What Irish citizen is unaware of the widespread corruption that infects our land? What’s needed is an awareness of action. If the Government started jailing white collar criminals instead of television licence dodgers they might gain some credibility.

“Since the enactment of the Prevention of Corruption(Amendment) Act, 2001, the law on corruption in Ireland has been strengthened.”

Obviously, the banker’s are unaware of this.

“Ireland is very committed to ensuring that bribes to officials either at home or abroad are treated as criminal offences.”

White collar criminals are exempt.

“Since the enactment of the Prevention of Corruption(Amendment) Act, 2001, the law on corruption in Ireland has been strengthened.”

Note the year, 2001. To my knowledge nobody has been charged or jailed for corruption since.

“Accordingly, the relevant Irish Government Departments and bodies have initiated a comprehensive programme to ensure that implementation is being progressed.”

They have? Must be a State secret. ‘Being progressed’ are the magic words here, could be decades.

“The Department of Enterprise, Trade and Employment (DETE) has compiled a brochure entitled OECD-Anti-Bribery Initiative’, which sets out the main elements and provisions of the OECD Convention on Combating Bribery of Foreign officials.”

Wow, a brochure? I hope it’s as glossy and shiny as all those thousands of brochures churned out by the now totally discredited Financial Regulator.

“Plans are in place to circulate this publication to employees of the relevant sections of the Department of Enterprise.”

I don’t know about you but I’m beginning to feel faint from the excitement. I just know I’ll suffer a complete collapse if this plan is actually carried out, it would be too much.

“Prison sentences have been handed down in several countries and individuals and companies that committed foreign bribery have been penalised with fines of up to US$28 million.”

Great; action at last. Oh no, that’s US dollars, it’s another country. And in reality, as far as so called Irish regulatory agencies are concerned – another universe.

Copy to:
The Minister for Justice, Equality and Law Reform, Dermot Ahern TD